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Heidi Harding keeps the diaries she started writing as a seven-year-old, detailing how her father abused her in secret, locked in a box. She keeps them secure, not to hide her memories away but so that she can frequently re-read the entries to remind herself of what happened to her at the hands of the man who was supposed to protect her. 7岁的时候,海蒂·哈丁就开始写日记了,详细记录父亲偷偷虐待她的过程,她将这本日记锁在了一个箱子里。她把这些日记放在了安全的地方,不是为了将这些回忆藏起来,而是为了能经常重读这些事情,提醒自己这个本该保护他的男人是如何将魔爪伸向她的。 And when her daughter - now just four - is old enough, Heidi will consider telling her how her dad sexually abused her over a period of seven years because she believes it is important not to hide from the truth. Heidi believes the more abuse is brushed under the carpet and children are not encouraged to talk about their bodies, the more abuse could happen and continue without being stopped. 当她的女儿长大时--现在才4岁,海蒂会告诉女儿自己的亲生父亲是如何在7年的时光里猥亵了她,因为她认为不掩藏真相是很重要的。海蒂认为还有更多的猥亵事件被人们掩盖了,因为社会并不鼓励儿童谈论自己的身体,所以还有更多的猥亵事件继续发生着。 "Since I was seven I've been keeping diaries and writing my own notes," said Heidi, who is not using her real name to protect her identity. "As I got older I wrote a lot more." I never forget what happened to me. I read back over these notes and diaries. I keep them in a secure locked box, and a lot are on my laptop as well, which I keep in a safe. I am always reading back over them, never forgetting what's happened. I think that is important. "7岁的时候我就开始写日记、做笔记,"海蒂(为了保护自己,海蒂并不是真名)说。"年纪越大,我写的就越多。"我从未忘记发生在我身上的事情。我会重读这些笔记和日记。我把它们锁在一个安全的箱子里,放在保险箱的电脑里也记录着很多。我总是会重读这些日记,从未忘记发生过的事情。我认为这是很重要的。 "When I read the graphic detail it is not pleasant but it's not healthy to ignore what happened." For 10 years Heidi refused to speak out. Desperate not to upset anyone, she kept her secret to herself, not telling her mum or two siblings Tom and Chloe. She was seen as a moody teenager , screaming at her dad and telling him she hated him in the manner of a teen strop. "当我读到这些生动的细节时,我并不感到开心,但忽视曾经发生过的事情是不健康的。"10年来,海蒂都拒绝将这件事公之于众。她不想让任何人难过,所以一直保守着自己的秘密,既不告诉自己的母亲,也不告诉她的兄弟汤姆和妹妹克洛伊。当时她被视作忧郁的少年,以青少年的方式冲父亲尖叫、告诉他她恨他。 But it was when Heidi discovered her dad had also abused Chloe, her younger sister by eight years, that she snapped. Having spent her life trying to keep her family together and protect her little sister from also being a victim, she felt that she had failed. "When I found out, I CRIed in the shower for two hours," said Heidi. "I lived with the abuse for a number of years and I had always made sure she wasn't alone with him. I did everything I thought I could." 但当海蒂发现父亲也猥亵当时8岁的克洛伊时,她大声呵斥了。她终其一生都想让家人聚在一起,保护自己的妹妹不受父亲的伤害,但她感觉自己失败了。"当我发现这件事的时候,我在淋浴下哭了俩小时,"海蒂说。"我已经被虐待好几年了,我一直都保护妹妹不让她和父亲单独相处。我尽可能的做了一切。" 译文属Tingvoa原创,仅供学习交流使用,未经许可请勿转载 来自:VOA英语网 文章地址: http://www.tingvoa.com/html/20180313/541906.html